My Inner Sanctuary

“What Happens If It Works”, has been popping up on my Instagram feed a lot over the last several weeks. I take this as God’s message to me to get my act together and start writing again. The first step to starting something new or re-starting a previous practice is SO HARD. At least for me it is. It is a palpable battle of will, emotion and action.

So, what happens if it works? If it works, I’ll be successfully blogging with a goal of turning my musings into a book. What happens if it works? My highs, lows, and plateaus just might help someone from my experiences. What happens if it works? My writing will have touched at least one person.

It’s been more than a minute since I’ve last blogged. To level set and play a little catch up, at the end of 2017 someone very close to me was diagnosed with cancer and successfully defeated cancer in 2018 after an unbelievably long hospital stay. Shortly after that, I “resigned” from a job I did not love, went to Africa with my husband, gained some clarity and proceeded to start my own law firm. While starting the firm, I was approached by a big law firm about joining their firm. I was trained at a tough law firm and didn’t really think that’s where I wanted to be. Well, after praying and consulting with a few key people, I interviewed and then accepted an offer two weeks later.

It goes without saying that 2018 was a year full of lows, highs and uncertainty. What I know for sure about 2018 is that God’s hand was on me the entire time. Every. Single. Moment. Without. Fail. That’s the truth. I saw things unfold that I didn’t even know I wanted, people removed from my life that were toxic, and opportunities I dreamed about 10 years ago come to be.

So again I ask, what happens if it works? If you take the step with even the smallest amount of faith to find out, you’ll be moving in the direction you were meant to. Is it easy? Nope. Not even a little bit easy. But is it worth it? You already know it is.

2019 is half-way over, but as the ever wise one, Beyonce sings in her new song (and one of my two theme songs), “Find Your Back”, “…don’t let this world drive you crazy, find your way back…you’ve just got to find your way back.” Well. Slowly but surely, I’m finding my way back to find out what happens if it works.

I’m not sure what your “it” is, but let’s find out what happens if “it” works together.

Love you,

Farah

So, have you started hearing your inner voice yet? Maybe you have, or maybe the rush of the holiday season has made finding time even more difficult.  Or perhaps the stress of the season has you feeling a little overwhelmed (🙋🏾, yes me too)?

Well, hearing yourself is so crucial, that we are going to spend a little more time on it, and really the most important step in hearing your inner voice is allowing yourself time for self reflection. What do you think of the photo I included today? Doesn’t just looking at the fluidity of the sky and water instantly calm your mind and senses? Well, let’s talk about a few ways to get you to a place where you can reflect, calm your mind and hear your inner voice..

1.  Create a happy place. Ok, yes, I know we all want to be on the beach in St. Barth’s, and yes that can definitely be your happy place. However, I would gather you can’t get there very often, so how about we consider creating a happy place right where you are? It may not be the same as going to your favorite beach, but creating a space and the time can at least help you recreate the feelings you have when you’re away.  For me, spending a day alone with my music, magazines and journal brings me back to my days living in Paris and it settles my mind so that I can reflect on my current situation. Allowing myself time on Sundays to take a long bath with plenty of essential oils and some chill music brings me back to the spa at Bacara Resort, and allows me to start my week from a place of calm and self-reflection. It sounds so basic, and it is, however, so many of us fail to give the gift of self-connection and reflection. Give it a try, and find at least one thing that you can do right where you are that recounts the feelings you have at your real happy place!
2. Go Outside. See that picture? There is nothing more calming to your mind and spirit than connecting with nature in some way. I’m not saying you have to go all out and go camping in the woods, but I am saying that you’ve got to put down the device and go outside, even if it’s just sitting on your deck looking at your backyard. Start with 10-15 minutes outside without your phone and just see where your mind takes you. This is one of the fastest and easiest ways to get to the heart of yourself because it helps you tune out all of the white noise and tune into your own frequency.

The truth is, a self-aware and self-connected woman is incredibly powerful, and isn’t that the goal? The more time you spend trying to hear your inner voice and self-reflecting, the more time you’ll want to spend with yourself. Ultimately, you are growing closer to the person you were created to be and you will love the feeling knowing exactly who you are, what you want and how you’re going to get there. So, as we plan to enter 2018, let’s connect with ourselves just a little bit more, #newyearRealYou.

Love you guys and Merry Christmas,

Farah

Listening to yourself is an amazing gift and skill. It is one of the best presents you can give yourself.  And just like everything else we’ve chatted about, it is a skill that takes some work. Yet, my friends, it is so worth it, and I know you can do it. I mean you’re already working through Manifestos #1-3, so you’ve GOT THIS!

That little voice of yours is powerful, and while it’s small, it can determine and direct you towards happiness, clarity, authenticity, and your God given purpose OR it can lead you down a path and towards people that were never meant for you. So let’s talk about it…

1. First and foremost, you do have an inner voice. Maybe you’re not used to listening to it, but it’s there. Or maybe the noise around you is too loud to allow you to hear your voice. One of the easiest ways to turn on the inner voice frequency is by spending quiet time alone at the start of your day in prayer or meditation before all of the daily distractions start vying for your attention. Give yourself the attention and time that you deserve so that you can begin to create the life that you deserve.

2. Trust yourself. Aren’t we so quick to trust everybody but ourselves? I know I’m definitely guilty of giving credence to other people’s opinions and advice before trusting my own. But really, my Inner Sanctuary peeps…who really knows you the best? I’m not saying your best friend of the last 20 plus years doesn’t know you, she/he definitely does,  BUT, they only know so much about you. And, between us, wouldn’t you say that your people really only know as much about you as you allow them to know?  So my point is this, you know yourself better than anyone else, however, you have to trust that your self knowledge is more powerful than anyone else’s.

3. Action builds trust. What good is taking the time to listen to yourself and learning to trust your voice, if you don’t actually do what your inner voice directs you to do? Practice does make perfect. Start small, but do start. Like exercising builds muscle, you’re building the ability to hear, trust and act.

My friends, I know this is hard stuff and I don’t take what I’m suggesting lightly. However, as we approach the New Year, wouldn’t it be nice to start The year with a clear head tuned into your inner voice and ready to begin 2018 like nobody’s business? It’s going to be a New Year with the Real YOU!

Love you guys,

Farah

I absolutely love food! I love to cook it, eat it and serve it. In addition to my day job, I study food preparation and how people react to my food. I want my guests to love everything I cook because I put so much love into its preparation.  Cooking may be my love language.

So, let’s talk about food because so many of us have such a love/hate relationship with it. And don’t get me wrong, as much as I love food, I too have my own food struggles (i.e. eating too much of the things I love).  The reality is this…

1. The primary purpose of food is to fuel you. Really, that’s it. Food isn’t going to avenge the boss who is driving you crazy or replace the friendships you might have lost.  It’s meant to strengthen every fiber of your mind and body. Now, that doesn’t mean what you eat has to be boring! Never that, but remember your body truly is both your machine and a temple. Love it and take care of it😉

2. Listen to your body. I mean really listen. I can guarantee you that your body did NOT  really tell you that it wanted brownies and potato chips every single day…Junk food once in a while is not a problem, but every day? Come on Inner Sanctuary girls. Remember, we are supposed to be practicing Manifestos #1 and #2, and we really do need to eat well in order to do that. On the flip side, if you’ve been eating lean and green and you sense your body needs some additional carbohydrates, listen to your body and eat it!

We are in the midst of the holiday season where I personally seem to like champagne above all else, so my plan is to double my water intake on a daily basis and eat largely plant based to counteract some of the holiday indulgences😉.

I’m not going to tell you what eating well for your body is, but I will say that eating well should include an abundance of water and vegetables. Perhaps start there by increasing  your water and vegetable intake each week. See where that takes you. My guess is, you’ll have more energy, greater focus and a sunnier perspective!

As I said, food can and should be an expression of love, so fuel yourself and your family with a healthy dose of love (and lovingly prepared healthy food)!

Happy Holidays!

Farah

Ok, can we all just agree that the idea of exercise isn’t always so pleasant. Don’t get me wrong, I do exercise pretty consistently, but sometimes it is a serious struggle! I mean, you have to wear special clothes, push yourself to do something you really don’t want to do, get sweaty – and, often IT HURTS! If you’re spinning, your tush hurts, if you’re running, you can’t breathe, if you’re lifting weights, your muscles feel like jelly, and if you’re doing HIIT then you literally feel like you will pass out at any moment.

I get it, I feel the same every time I step foot out of the house to run, spin or train. But ask yourself, what’s the common thread in all of these complaints?? Exercise is uncomfortable.

Well, let’s play a little analogy game. Exercise is to discomfort as Life is to discomfort. There’s a reason folks say exercise is akin to training for life. Exercise does exactly that..

1. First, you must disrupt and silence the little voice trying to talk you out of exercise…hmm, that sounds familiar. Like the same little voice that says you can’t do something or that you shouldn’t try something new. The little voice I hear typically says, “You shouldn’t try that, what if you fail?” You can easily substitute, “You shouldn’t go back to the gym or back to barre class, what if it hurts? What if you can’t keep up?”

2. Second, once you begin it hurts, and all you can do is tell yourself to breathe through it and keep going…I’m not even going to lie. Exercising is hard work, it DOES hurt and it is most definitely uncomfortable. However, I bet you’ve made it through each and every exercise class you’ve ever tried. Weren’t you able to do more than you thought you could? Life is exactly the same. Keep moving and keep breathing. One step at a time, just keep pushing through. Or as Dory, from Finding Nemo, always said, “Just keep swimming Dory [substitute your name here!]”

3. Third, exercise reminds you that pain and discomfort don’t last forever, but is only a necessary condition to take you to the next level. I have never ever known a transition into a new role, higher position or anything new to be completely pain-free. Stretching yourself to do more and to disrupt your status quo IS uncomfortable, but I can tell you from experience that consistent exercise can and will change your perspective about your ability to persevere. And just like the pain derived from that dreaded spin class, the discomfort doesn’t last forever. You might even be sore for a few days after you finish, but guess what you did it and you’re well on your way to the next level.

Most of us set intentions or write resolutions about how much we are going to exercise, and we flood the gyms the first two months of the year. Since we “Unsettled Women” are really focusing on training for life, why not start now? Think about how ready for 2018 you’ll be if you can work in an extra 30-45 minutes of exercise into your schedule! Start with that, and mark my words, you will enter the holiday season and 2018 with a much different perspective, ready to hit the ground running, and prepared to soar to new heights. Let’s go👊🏾!

Talk soon!

Farah

When I decided to start writing, I promised myself that I would always be honest, transparent and authentic with you all. Ultimately, my goal is to get to the heart of what holds you all and myself back so that we can actually be women who refuse to be “settled”, but rather, women who are “unsettled” and unafraid of disrupting our personal situations to create life stories that truly and authentically depict who you and we are (notice I’m including myself in this group.. I’m right there with you girlfriend 😘)!

Well, in all honestly, it’s taken me a long time to even write this second post because I wanted it to be perfect, and speak to exactly what you needed to hear. And I was beating myself up about not being able to just write it and publish it. I suffer from that irrational fear of being less than perfect..

Guess who was wasn’t being so nice to herself! Ding ding, ME! Which of course led me down this long circuitous path that ultimately made me question whether I should even writing a blog. I’m not even going to lie and tell you it’s easy to live by my manifesto, but I’m committed to myself and to you. So obviously, I’m not going to let my unrealistic sense of perfectionism derail me and I don’t want to let [fill in the blank with your issue] stop you, so let’s refocus on our manifestos and how I got myself back on the path to the Unsettled Life and My Inner Sanctuary…

1. Let me repeat Manifesto #1 – Be Easy on Yourself..You are not being easy on yourself if you let that little negative internal voice berate you. You are not being nice to yourself if you begin 90% of your sentences or thoughts with “I Can’t [fill in the blank] or “I Just Don’t Know If I Can..[fill in the blank]” and girlfriends, this is a big one..) comparing yourself to someone else…Just stop that. God made you who you are for a very specific purpose, he didn’t make you to be like anyone else. Be inspired by the amazingness of someone else, but let’s work on creating our own amazingness!

2. Everyone has something that holds them back from doing what they want, pray or hope for. Figure out what your obstacle is and study it. Seriously analyze and break down what your impediment is and then attack it however best you can. Everyone is different and you have to find what works for you. For me, I pray, then I put my headphones on and listen to whatever music is giving me the feels, get my dog, Baxie, and walk it out. After that, I make myself take one small step in the direction of my goal. And it can be sooo small, I don’t even care, but it’s one step. This time, my small step was looking at this website every day and then making one edit. (yep, that’s it)! But guess what, once I did one that one small thing, I’d broken past my perfectionist fear that held me back, and I could take another step and actually write this post. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you. Just take one small action and Be Easy on Yourself as you work through your obstacle. Remember, the world can be hard enough on you, I promise you do not need to be hard on yourself.

So let’s do it girlfriends, especially as we head into the holiday season which can be filled with such high stress and anxiety. Be Easy on Yourselves my loves and take one small step your goal before the new year.

Up next, Manifesto #2 – The Power of Exercise!

Talk soon,

Farah